Why Exhaustion Shouldn’t Be the Standard for Working Parents
We often accept sleep deprivation as just “part of the job” when it comes to parenting. From jokes about cold coffee to the constant reminder that “it’s just a phase,” there’s a cultural norm that tells us sleepless nights are something to be worn like a badge of honour.
But for working parents, or those preparing to return to work after maternity or parental leave, this expectation can be overwhelming. When you're waking up multiple times a night with your baby and still expected to think clearly, perform well, or hold down a meeting the next morning, sleep deprivation becomes more than tiring… it becomes unsustainable.
Research shows that even mild sleep deprivation can impair your ability to concentrate, make decisions, manage stress, and regulate emotions. When this is your day-to-day reality, it doesn’t just affect how you feel, it affects how you function in every part of your life.
And it's not just mums feeling the pressure. Dads and partners are often overlooked in this experience. Many suffer in silence… caught between wanting to support their families and feeling unsure of how to talk about their own exhaustion, especially when the focus is always on the baby or the birthing parent.
The truth? Everyone in the family needs sleep. It’s not just about helping your baby get the rest they need for their growth and development, it’s also about you getting the rest you need to be the parent and professional you want to be.
You're not failing because you're tired. You're tired because you're human. You’re doing the best you can on empty, but it doesn’t have to be this hard. Supporting your baby’s sleep can be done gently, responsively, and in a way that also supports your wellbeing, your relationships, and your return to work.
So, what can help? Here are a few strategies that can ease the overwhelm:
Track patterns, not perfection: Start by gently noticing your little one’s sleep cues, nap timings and wake windows. Routine doesn’t mean rigidity — it means rhythm.
Create a calm wind-down: A short, familiar bedtime routine can signal to your baby that sleep is coming. It also helps your own nervous system prepare for rest (yes, yours matters too).
Share the load: If you have a partner, take turns on wake-ups or offer each other a protected sleep night once a week. If you’re solo parenting, lean into what support you do have — family, friends, or even a night nanny if accessible.
Speak up at work: If you're returning to work, speak to your manager about flexible working, temporary adjustments or a phased return. Employers are increasingly recognising the link between sleep, wellbeing and performance.
Reach out early: If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, seeking support from a sleep professional can bring clarity and calm — without judgment. You don’t have to wait until you're at breaking point.
Helping your baby get the sleep they need can also mean helping yourself feel human again, able to think clearly, be more patient, and reconnect with the parts of life you love. It’s not about control or forcing change… it’s about finding an approach that feels manageable and sustainable for your whole family.
So no, you’re not weak if you’re tired. You’re not failing if you’re struggling. You're doing your best in a system that often expects too much from new parents. Sleep isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation that helps you show up for the life you’ve built… at work, at home, and everywhere in between.